A wild and crazy week!

I didn't have much time to post this week.  For some reason, everything seemed extra crazy.  I needed to get reports done for a business meeting to approve next year's budget and to elect new members to the council.  And, I also needed to get a program done for a Christmas program Sunday night.  I thought I had another week!  And, there' s a wedding on Saturday!   Yikes!

I'm Afraid it's Going to Be One of those Nights

Blech!  I'm chilly, it's late, I hurt, so...I'm on Pinterest.  It's either that or read a book on my Kindle (which I seriously love!), play solitaire on my old iPhone (which isn't used as a phone anymore as it is way too expensive so it's just a pda) or surf Pinterest for craft ideas or recipes for avocadoes.  Yeah.

Miss Grumblebunny is curled up on the cot next to my legs.  She certainly helps keep my feet warm at night during the cold months.  She usually likes to get between my feet up to my knees and yes, she is that long.  She's a big girl.  But, at the moment she is over to the side.

I don't like having Fibro.  It is not my friend.  I have felt tired all day and decided to put off laundry until sometime during the week.  Due to digging out my winter clothes and still being able to wear some that I wear in the summer, I'll be okay.  At the moment, I am not sure which of us is the grumblebunny!

The Grumblebunny turns into a Honeybunny

My sweet little furchild loves to meet me when I get home from work or wherever I have been.  This morning I had a couple of errands to run.  I can usually hear her crying when I get out of the pickup and head to unlock the door.  She meets me at the door and we touch noses.

This morning she started whining as soon as I got in the door.  That's really not unusual but this was just a little more persistent.  I put a couple of things away and was trying to think if I wanted to eat lunch now or wait.  I decided to wait and got the internet hooked up (I use a mifi hotspot as I don't have a land line or tv to get cable) and the computer up and running.  I sat down on the cot and got ready to relax and surf the net.  She was whining the whole time.  She came up beside me and was sitting sweetly by my side, waiting so impatiently for me to hold out my arm so she can kiss the inside of my elbow.  Is that weird or what?

Once she was able to kiss and lick, she was a happy little bug.  When I would move my arm, she would sit and look at me so sadly.  Then she would just start kissing wherever she could reach.

This is a new behavior for her.  She started doing this about 6 months ago.  She is about 13 and is just a love  bug!  It's been just me and her except for about 5 years when we shared a home with my mom and her dog. She is a Bombay and is unlike any other cat I have ever had.  She acts more like a dog sometimes.  She's my  kitty girl!

What's a Grumblebunny?

A Grumblebunny is a creature that looks like this -

It is a big black cat that has staked her claim on the office chair.  "Computer, you don't need to be on no stinkin' computer!"

She is my sweet furchild and I know I have spoiled her rotten.  But, I am the only one who has to deal with her.

I need to be working on a knitting project.  I am getting my "crafty" back after way too long.  I'll post a picture when I get it done but it will be after Christmas as it is to be a gift for someone.  I have gotten stuck in a rut with my crafting (sewing, knitting, crocheting) but I'm bound and determined to break out of it.

One of my newest pleasures has been Pinterest.  I know, I'm late to the party, but I got there!  I especially love the DIY and Craft catergory (and the Food catergory).  I've been surfing looking to see if I can find my next project.  And, I just may have.  But, you will need to stay tuned to find out.

I'm Back At It Again

I've been very lazy and just haven't been blogging.  I decided that it was time I got back to it and share my struggles with this beast called Fibromyalgia.

Oh the joys of the monsoon season!

Aaaarh! I just opened the frig to snag a soda and noticed that the light didn't come on. Opened the freezer and the ice in the trays is melting! The power strip looks okay but come to think of it, my phone wasn't charging this morning. Picked up the power strip and water ran out of it. ??? Where did it leak last night (besides the window next to my bunk)? I plugged the frig directly into the outlet and it's running. If it isn't one thing, it's 10.

The great thing is we are in the middle of our monsoon season. That's when we get the majority of our rain. I need to get chalking so that my son in law can chalk the windows of my rv. Might as well do them all. I learned my lesson last year when one side of the roof was leaking. A friend has enough stuff to patch from the back to the door. First hard rain that summer and the area from the door to the front leaked - a lot. Another friend patched that and it's okay. Well maybe not if water got in the power strip.

Gotta laugh, tho. You have to learn to roll with the punches that life throws at you.

I'm sleeping a little better now...

I'm sleeping better now. I gave up on my bunk I made covered with pillows and cushions. I bought myself a zero gravity chair. It's like a lounger that you would have in the yard. It reclines way back and is actually comfortable. The only problem is when you want to recline just a little, the locking knobs don't want to work as well as when you recline fully. I just keep tightening them. It doesn't take up too much space so I was able to put it back close to where the air conditioner is located. That's a great thing to be able to do!

Settling in

I'm am slowly settling in here in my new parking space. The move wasn't too bad on kitty girl as we just moved our housing with us instead of moving to a new house (or apartment). It's quiet and has some trees. It's close to the river. So far, all of the folks I've met are very nice. There's a FastTrip on the corner as I go out where I can get my Diet Dr Pepper every morning - 44 oz for 99 cents!

I still have quite a bit to re-stow as my back was giving me fits. I couldn't bend very well to pick up totes or boxes. But, it is now back to normal and I have hopes of getting the place put back together. I'm going to rearrange some things to fit better.

The only problem now is the "normal" aches and pains from the fibro. I have to pace myself. I should be enjoying some relief as water aerobics is starting up again on Monday, May 2nd! Woohoo! I'm looking forward to it. Not only will it help some with the fibro pain but I'll be getting my tan back. LOL

Moving once again

Whew! It was tough but my RV got moved tonight to my new parking space. I couldn't have done it without my friends (one of which is a mechanic - I called him a miracle man tonight for getting the RV to run and make it to the new space). Tomorrow I will get my steps and porch. I will need for another friend to cut them down to fit on the concrete patio beside the RV. I'm also hopeful that I will be able to get my little storage shed moved.

I have a big job ahead of me, putting everything back together. I need to get the window covers back up. There is a pull down bed but I use it for storage space. I also need to go find a new (used) refrigerator as the one I have doesn't work that well.

I'm closer to my kids and closer to my job. I should be spending about 1/3 of what I was spending for gas. The park is nice and quiet with lots of trees. I am close to the river. I'm just across the river from the casinos and all of their bright, colorful lights.

It's time for me to try to settle down and get some sleep. I'll try to get some pictures tomorrow.

Oh, listen to the wind blow!

It's cold tonight. It's not as cold as it is in many other places with their blizzards - snow and ice. But, for where I live, it's cold!

The wind is blowing with gusts of up to 40 mph. It sets my little RV to rocking but I've gotten used to that. I'll just put another blanket on the bed and cuddle with the cat and a warm ricebag at my feet.

It being cold is bad because it makes me hurt. I can stand the heat a lot better than I can the cold. I think the cold was the only thing I was glad to leave behind in Arkansas two years ago.

The cold makes my fibromyalgia flare up. There's more pain than usual and, of course, my RLS wants to join the party. That's just something else to disrupt my sleep. I'm trying to change my diet some to see if cutting out sugar and carbs will help. I know I need to exercise but the fatigue that just won't clear up keeps me from any significant exercise. I try to walk more - like park further out at the grocery store. The bad part is when I come out and have to make it back to the car.

I really shouldn't complain. I have a job, a place to live, clothes to wear and enough food to eat. That's more than too many people in the world can say. I've tried to simplfy my life by ridding myself of a lot of junk and stuff. And I still have some things that I am going to send out the door and off of the property.

Oh yeah. Did I mention it was cold?

Mostly odds and ends

Oh WOW! I hear the coyotes tonight. Where I live borders on tribal land. I get to see lots of wildlife. (like the tortoise during the summer). There are always lots of rabbits and I sometimes hear owls.

The owls bring back memories of my childhood. We had 5 very old Pecan trees in our yard. Every once in a while it would sound like the owls were having a convention in our trees. They would hoot all night long. When I was small it was scarey but not I would appreciate it.

I had a long week. I was off on Monday due to a holiday. I started losing my voice late that afternoon and it is just now getting better. The doctor called in a prescription after a couple of days playing phone tag. But, the fatigue I've been battling with is just about to do me in. The doctor said that we would take a look at how I feel after this round of medicine. It's not fun to ache all over and be soooooo tired to boot.

It's gonna be a long night

It's 9pm and I can already tell that it's going to be a rough night. I don't know why the pain is worse tonight. Actually I have been in pain most of the day. I'm trying to pinpoint the cause with little success.

The fatigue is really doing a number on me. Friday night, I went out to eat with friends. Naturally, the restuarant was at the back of the building. I was worn out by the time we got into the restuarant and got seated. As it was a buffet, I sat and rested while my friends went to fill their plates. The food was excellant but I must of eaten something that didn't agree with me (Fibro messes up your digestive system, too) as I was sick later that night. By the time we walked back out to the vehicle, I was past worn out; I was exhausted. Yesterday I didn't feel like doing much of anything. I rested.

I was still tired when I got up this morning. As I said, the fatigue is kicking my hiney. My hands are cramping, my legs ache and I can't find a comfortable position in my chair (which is broken and is going out the door tomorrow). I ache all over and the pain med that the doctor prescribed does very little. I have a tape of sounds that I listen to and try to relax. The problem is I didn't realize the batteries in the cd player are almost out of juice and I don't have enough new one - I'm 1 short.

It should be a interesting night.

The wonderful world of medication side effects. Whee!

I finally researched a little bit tonight the latest prescription drug the doctor prescribed for my fibro aches and pain. It seems that I have a couple of the known side effects - dry mouth (I have been wondering why all of sudden my mouth is always so dry), fatigue (went out to eat with some friends at a place across the river and was totally worn out by the time we walked back to the truck), some mental fog (I've made a few stupid mistakes lately on things that I always thought I could do in my sleep), and a slight case of tremors in my hands (especially noticable when trying to pick up sushi with chop sticks and get it in my mouth).

Don't get me wrong. The med has helped with the aches and pains. They don't wake me up in the middle of the night like they did before. So...do I want less pain and more fatigue, et al or vice versa. I need to think about that.

Toxic Relationships

At the moment, I am upset with myself and the fact that I have briefly returned to my "doormat" ways. I am trying to overcome the need to have everyone like me, and of trying to be a "people pleaser".

There are a couple of people in my life that have the need to either question everything I do or to "helpfully" point out my mistakes. I will be the first to admit that I do make mistakes. (I've made some doosys) And, I should know that as a church secretary, there will always be someone right there to point them out.

I am trying to have a healthy outlook on life. I would prefer to think that the glass is half full. I enjoy my job - most of the time. I enjoy helping people, whether at work or when I am out and about. I have spent way too much time having a negative outlook. It's more fun to to smile and be pleasant and helpful to others. But, I have to remember to have healthy boundaries.

I know that I need to have a thicker skin. The two toxic people are unhappy, negative people. I can't change their attitude, but I can change mine. It just isn't easy to do.

It's been too long

I have been lax in blogging. I am now in my RV (or tortoise shell). A friend has RV hookups on her place and is lettinge rent a space from her. (I call it my tortiose shell as they carry their home with them. I got to see a desert tortiose up close.)

Life has thrown a few curve balls my way since I last blogged. I finally faced up to what has caused me to be depressed, a doormat, and to have a low self esteem for most of my life. I have often reacted in very emotional and inappropriate ways. It all points back to my early childhood when I had things happen to me that should not happen to a child.

A dear friend kept telling me I needed to go to the support group that she had started at our church for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I kept telling her that I didn't need it, I am ok. But, I wasn't. Once I joined the group, I was able to deal with things that I had stuffed down and didn't want to admit happened. I even stood before our congregation and "outed" myself as a survivor. I hoped to encourage others that had suffered to join us in our journey to recovery.

I have learned in the group how to set up healthy boundaries. I have learned how to identify "triggers" for the old behavior. One thing I have decided is that negative people are toxic for me. I have to walk away from those types of relationships.

I've made some changes. I care a little more about putting on makeup. I don't care as much about what people think about my clothes. I wear shorts and a tank top sometimes during the summer! I've even put on a bathing suit and played in the icy cold Colorado River when it's 120 degrees! I'm having fun! Before I just wanted to be covered up. Now, it's a very rare occasion when I wear a dress. My wardrobe is mostly jeans and t shirts, capris and t shirts, comfortable clothes suited for the climate.

Another curve ball thrown my way is I have been told that I have Fibromyalgia. Fun stuff. I have aches and pains all over my body and am learning that I have to pace myself so that I don't run out of energy. I'm adapting. I trying to change my diet (which is really difficult when you love sweet, chocolate things like I do.). But, I can tell the difference in how I feel when I eat a more healthy meal than when I eat all of the "yummy, bad for me" stuff.

2011 is underway and I am looking forward to what God has in store for me. It may be blessings or hard places. But, I am trying to allow Him to guide me through.

Yahoo! I have my desktop hooked up!

I finally broke down and hooked up my desktop. I was thinking that I would wait until I got into my RV but the laptop just wasn't cutting it.

I think the laptop is probably on it's last legs. It has been a great little laptop. I have gotten a lot of use out of it. I am thinking I will try to get a netbook or an ipad. It will probably be the netbook as I think those are cheaper.

Anyway, I am glad to get the desktop up and running. I can watch Hulu now! I don't have cable now but can watch pretty much what I want to see online. But my computer has to work better than the laptop. I am waiting tonight for the latest episode of Big Brother to be posted at CBS.com.

I am not a big TV watcher but I do like to watch a few things.

Just another day in BHC

I have finally gotten all of my stuff out of the loaner RV. It was tough going tho. I was trying to get it done before it got too hot and had to deal with sore knees and legs. I think it got up to 112 and I didn't even look at the gauge in the RV to see how hot it was in there. It wasn't that I had so much stuff in there but it just takes me a while with my bad knees going up and down the steps to the RV.

The soreness in my legs and knees came from yesterday's water aerobic class. We worked on our legs. I was finally able to track down a pair of water shoes. The water and heat are doing a number on my feet. The water shoes (jellies - purple!) should be a big help. I finally found a pair at a local grocery store. Walmart and Payless didn't have any. And the water aerobics class is 3 times a week through October.

I never thought I would see the day...

I never thought I would see the day where I would be wearing a tank top and shorts out in public. I have started doing that as a way to deal with the heat.

Lately, I have had to deal with the heat a lot. I am out of the borrowed RV since the air con died and am using a room at a friend's house. It shouldn't be too much longer before my "turtle shell" (that's what i am calling my RV now) is done.

The heat can be intense but there are ways to make it bearable. One thing you MUST do is stay hydrated. I carry a bottle of water with me where ever I go. I found a nice aluminum bottle at St Vinny's and keep filling it over and over.

I have been looking at the prices for window tint for most of the windows on the "turtle shell". And, I have found rolls of the silver insulation stuff for the front windshield.

I don't really mind the heat too much. It's a dry heat with very little humidity and frequently feels like it is cooler than it is. The wind blows almost constantly, too.

Anyway, I look like just another resident of BHC in my shorts and tank top.

WooHoo! It's a bit warm today

Woo! It is warm today. It's 111 today and the air conditioner in the RV I am using keeps tripping the breaker. I have the thermostat as low as I can set it. It's 99 in here. I went to my storage unit to get another fan. I am hoping it doesn't keep doing that tomorrow while I am at work. I don't want it to get too hot in here for my fur baby! I will just make sure both fans are running and make sure she has plenty of water.

I shouldn't have this problem with my RV once they get it done. It just needs to be painted and the floor put down. I hope it's done soon.

Update on the RV

It looks like it may be a little later than the end of the month for me to move into my home on wheels. I am getting anxious but trying to be patient.

The men working on it for me have done so much more than I expected. I have a tile counter top in the kitchen area that matches the linoleum. They have tiled the shower and it is GORGEOUS!!! Insulation has been added and it is needed here. The window unit ac works great.

They need to finish a few things - like the frame cabinet for the refrigerator, painting the walls (to cover the hideous brown paint the previous owners had slapped on everything in sight) and lay the flooring.

God blessed me more than I knew when I bought a old beat up RV. (I have been told that I am henceforth forbidden to go purchase a car or any other big thing by myself. I don't think they trust me!). God took what could have been a disaster and turned it into a blessing. It gave 4 men, new to our church a chance to work with our pastor and bless someone. I gave me a chance to allow others to bless me. That has been difficult but I am learning.

When you have never been part of a loving family, you don't know how to let others bless you. I have always been pretty self sufficient. If something broke and I couldn't fix it, I found ways to work around it as I didn't want to bother anyone - such as the time (a few years ago in another state) when the light in the bathroom burned out. I couldn't reach it to change the bulbs so I got a lamp and put it in the bathroom. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone - even though we were supposed to have "family" there to help us. It always seemed like it was a bother to them. So, we just quit asking them for help.

When God moved me to the desert, he was blessing me so much. He gave me a church family that welcomed me with open arms - not because of who my mother was or the fact that I was the church secretary (at least, not then). I just fit. He has provided ways for me to work through some old, ancient problems. I am blooming in the desert.